when you dream, there are no rules

Nearly 5 years ago, I was hired to be an IT Support Analyst. I was hired based on my experience with cisco networking and understanding of network concepts. It was agreed that IÂ’d grow into a network support role and ended up following my job description around from week to week as it changed based on the vision of the IT director.

Even after being promoted to Network Administrator in 2003, I never felt like I had the credibility of a network professional and was never given the opportunity to design/maintain/implement network services based on industry standards and best practices. Often, I felt like my opinion or knowledge was not accepted until it was validated by a consultant or other members of the IT organization.

I’ve been accused of not being a team player, of being unprofessional and proprietary, my dedication to the job has been questioned, and my technical abilities have been ignored. I have lived and breathed this organization for almost 5 years, and I’ve rarely gotten a “thank you” or “good job”. I continually received less than satisfactory annual reviews despite my efforts to understand the expectations that were put upon me. In fact, I NEVER had a clear understanding expectations of my daily tasks and feel that my job responsibilities and description have changed more times than I can even realize.

In the end, I realized that my effectiveness was completely used up and therefore, it was time to go. Just over a month shy of my 5 year anniversary, I started a new job and, what feels like, a new life.

I spent my last 2 weeks wondering if I’d made the right decision. I didn’t have to sit in my new desk for 10 minutes before I realized that this job is different than any other I’ve had, and yes, this was a good decision. I was imediately welcomed as a member of the team. I felt supported and needed. I felt respected and involved.

Today is day 2 and I can honestly say that I’ve left the old place behind. I came to work early. I parked in a new parking lot and let myself into a new building with my new ID Access Badge and, being the first to arrive today, I turned on the lights in a new office area. And I had a cheezy grin on my face the whole time. Why would I grin about coming to work early and turning on lights? Because I realized that sometimes the only option there is, is to try something new.

I’d spent so much time — wasted so much time — banging my head against a virtual wall, hoping someone would listen to me, would respect me enough to acknowlege me that I forgot that anything else was possible. This morning, I remembered that there is more to life than that old place and so, I welcomed myself to my new life.